I have a chair that sits in my room next to the window. It used to be my grandmas. It now sits in the corner of my room surrounded by a bookshelf with stacks of books and a lamp from Ikea that was $12. I don’t spend enough time in that chair, but I’ve found myself retreating to it in the most recent days. My grandma died 5 years ago this week and I suppose subconsciously I’ve wanted to be near her, so I went near the chair.
Today I’ve found myself beginning and ending my day in the chair. I set my alarm this morning for 7am to get up and read scripture and focus my day. I consider it a win that I got out of my bed at 7:59 after hitting snooze for awhile. My window was open all night and the cold 58 degrees was refreshing. I put on sweats and a sweatshirt and sat in my grandma’s chair. I opened up to Psalm 18 and 19 in the Message Version. I read them a few times. I meditated and prayed on a few of the verses.
I connected with Psalm 19:11-14 for today.
A few verses say:
“Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!
Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work.”
It’s great to start the day off with a new slate, a restart. It’s much easier to think of sin as the big ones, but to pray that God will keep you from the stupid little ones is a prayer I rarely pray. It’s the last part of that verse that reminds me that I’m here to listen not be in charge. So today I prayed that I would get out of the way so that God can what he needs to do within and through me...and to not do stupid sins.
And it was a good day. I tried to keep a focus on allowing God to work through me, to focus on things I could do, and not focus on things that I can’t do.
Tonight I find myself in the same chair with the same sweats, reflecting on the day. I’m reminded of my grandma and her heart. I’m reminded of the fun we had when she took me to Vegas for my 21st birthday. I am reminded of a time when I got my leg stuck in the front porch fence and how my grandma tried to use bacon grease to get my knee unstuck. I am reminded of times when she would sit beside me at a restaurant with my parents. She’d reach out under the table and grab my hand only to release it and leave money in my palm. I’m reminded of Christmases and birthdays and lazy summer days.
All that to say, sometimes it’s just good to sit and reflect. Sit and remember the good days or the great memories of someone you love. To reflect on the day on the moment. To allow the silence to change us. To allow space for God to enter in and take over. To sit and hear the still small...sometimes very, very quiet voice of God. Today’s post is another reminder why taking time for ourselves is worth it. Kat’s post yesterday suggests saying no, being ok with taking time for you...today, it’s a reminder that just simply sitting, reflecting, remembering, and reading scripture counts. It makes a difference. It keeps us from stupid sins. It helps us keep God first and let him work in and through us.
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