Post Eighteen: "Is it Worth it?"

Today I went for a 5 mile run. Why? Because I needed reminding that a year ago today I couldn’t run. Literally. I needed to be reminded that I’ve come along way since last year physically. It was a year ago today that I had gall bladder surgery. Maybe some of you are saying “get over it already amber, you talk about this all the time...geez!” But for me it was a turning point in my life, a milestone. That was a bad day. I needed to reclaim September 10th. So I did.

I am thankful for the people in my life who helped me through those tough few days as I ended up back in the hospital. That was a $10,000 gas explosion (see below for explanation). I’m thankful for Valerie and her family who took me into their home for more than a week to help me recover. I remember Brooke and Jill coming home from school and sitting in the living room with me, yelling at me for standing up and sending me back to the couch. I remember Dick and Ginger and Pr.Mark coming to the hospital and seeing me. I am thankful for Lucy for helping me sneak out of the hospital. I remember friends coming to play Ticket to Ride (though I don’t remember most of it, i know their presence made a difference). I remember phone calls from great friends and thoughtful emails.

Honestly, it wasn’t like I had heart surgery or anything. It was a simple procedure that had some minor complications. But I’m thankful for the community that came around me and helped me through. Students left a get well sign for me and my parent and grandma sent me flowers. I’m probably missing a lot of great things and great people in this, so please forgive me!

Nearly all gall bladder surgeries occur because of excess weight. When there is too much fat for your gall bladder to break down, it can give up. So it decided to part ways with my body. Years of doing ministry with youth and eating pizza, candy, and junk food added up. (The fault is not in doing ministry, it’s all my fault, but you can see how I justified what I ate.) There was a moment when I remember asking my doctor if I caused this issue...and he said yes. It was because I had made poor choices in the food I ate. Yikes.

A few days after my surgery I was starting to feel better. I remember a moment looking in the mirror at the four tiny incisions that were beginning to heal. I looked up at the mirror and then prayed “This is it God. I don’t want to dishonor my body and dishonor you with what I do. This was an unnecessary surgery and I caused harm to the temple that you gave me. Help me tell a better story this year with my life.”

And that was all it took. I started to focus on little ways for me to live out what Mark 12:30 says “Love the Lord your God with all your HEART and with all your SOUL and with all your MIND, and with all your STRENGTH.” Focusing on the last part “strength” meant to love God with the body he’s given me. I started to eat better and joined a weight loss challenge. I even ran a half marathon in April. And then in May I ran a 10k...and in August I ran a 5k as part of a triathlon.

Clearly, my life isn’t totally perfect and so this has been a big struggle this past year. But I’ve tried to keep my focus on telling a better story with how I loved God with my “strength.”

And so I’m reclaiming September 10th. It’s been a year. What started as a bad thing has turned into an opportunity to love God with this vessel, this body that He’s given me. I’m not done yet, there is still more to do, more to accomplish, vices like chocolate and ice cream that still control me from time to time...but I’m keeping my focus on learning to love God with my strength.

My question for you is... what will it take for you to start to love God with your heart, soul, mind, and strength? I hope it doesn’t take a $10,000 gas explosion.

My friend Lucy says that this verse really says Love the Lord with your EVERYTHING. I love that. It seems overwhelming, so pick one to focus on for awhile. And give it your all.

Is it worth it? Yes.

$10,000 Gas Explosion Story....

Ok, so perhaps you’re wondering what I mean by $10,000 gas explosion. Here’s the story. It’s quite embarrassing actually. But funny. So please laugh.

Gall bladder surgery requires the surgeon to pump up your stomach with gas so he can see all your organs. The gas is supposed to exit your body..uh... “naturally.” But, in my case, that didn’t happen (never had that problem before). So 2 days after surgery in the middle of the night, I woke up and couldn’t breathe. Valerie rushed me to a hospital where they ran expensive tests and put me on oxygen. I ended up being admitted because I couldn’t “release my gas.” Yes. Please laugh. Eventually through the course of the next 24 hours, it released.

And I got the bill in the mail for my hospital stay. $10,000. Luckily insurance paid for all but $500. Needless to say... it was a $10,000 gas explosion. End of story.