Play it like a prayer

WARNING: this blog is random, unedited, and barely understandable. 

I’ve been rather distracted the last few days. There’s been less working and more unfocused attention on nothingness. 

I’m not sure if it’s just because it’s summer, or that things are changing, or if life has got me in a funk... perhaps its all of the above. 

I’ve committed to not blogging anything that I’m not willing to say to a friend face to face. I think its much easier to say that nothing is wrong, or decline when others ask what’s going on. 

I don’t freely give out information that is close to my heart. Most people have to pry it out of me and I am lucky to have a few people in my life who sit across from me and can get me to talk. 

Why is it that information close to our hearts is not free? To share, it comes at a cost. When I give out information, I feel like a piece of me is missing, and I generally like to keep myself in one piece.

And lately, I haven’t been able to give any piece of my heart to God. 

Is this what they call the dark night of the soul? 

****why am I so dramatic in this blog?*****

ANYWAY (remember, I’m constantly distracted and have temporary ADD)

But now I sit across from God, and nothing. Nothing comes out. I sit with my hands crossed. He’s staring at me,and I give nothing. And it’s not like I’m holding back, it’s just that when I try to say something, nothing comes out. NOTHING. 

So music has become my voice...and my prayers. And for a few moments I start to think that perhaps music has become an idol, or it’s own religion, and that I’m cheating on God. But then I realize that music is my voice, and when I find a song that represents what I’m thinking, feeling, or needing, I play it like a prayer. 

I suggest you buy Lanae Hale’s new cd. It’s amazing. It will grow on you, and you’ll never want to stop listening. True story. She gave away her CD for free and I wish now that I could somehow pay for it, because it’s that amazing. 

Anyway, here’s a song from her cd that captivates me and is my prayer today. 

Quiet Place  by Lanae Hale

Silent war is declared vision fails

When the soul's impaired

Noises numb the mind and

Love grows cold with time

If nothing fills the empty hole

That every human heart knows

I will wait for you

Till fire burns, earthquakes, and waves are few

Cause silence, is where you like to stay

So here I am, I'm waiting for you

In this quiet place

Running hard to ignore

The lonely places you've been before

But you feel time is slipping

And there's still so much you're missing

And to heal means tears must show

But you're not weak to just let go

I will wait for you

Till fire burns, earthquakes, and waves are few

Cause silence, is where you like to stay

So here I am, I'm waiting for you

In this quiet place

I believe

I'm in need

So dear sweet savior

Come rescue me

From this quiet place