Put the Drumbeat back in my Heart

This guy’s got passion. I’ve got passion too. It’s just been hiding. I suppose it’s there, underneath a lot of layers.

Speakers the size of bus couldn’t break through the silence.

Sound that reached miles couldn’t penetrate my heart.

There’s been something going on my heart for the last few months and I haven’t been able to pinpoint it, but I can tell you that there’s been a lot of silence.

It’s probably a good place to be at, and please don’t freak out for me... I’m just trying to find God in a more intimate place.

I was hoping that the silence would break at Ichthus, among all the loud noise, and the music would come back to my heart.

The music has come back, but it’s very faint. It’s there in the background, and it’s quiet. I’m ok with that. At least I know it’s there.

It’s not as muted, not as distant or far off.

And I have to be ok with that.

I’ve said it a million times before. But it needs to be said again. This past year was the hardest time in my life. It was also the greatest time. My heart grew, got chopped in half, grew again, and so on... It’s one of those things that you don’t realize until afterwards how bad it was OR how good it was. I think that God protects us a bit by using shock to help us get through things. It’s not until afterwards that we realize how good or bad it really was.

And I’m still trying to find the sound.

“Heartbeat” by Remedy Drive

This is a drought, living without the one thing I require.

What a mess, passionless, somewhere I lost the fire.

Where has it gone? Can anybody turn this beat back on?

My heart is fast asleep, dreaming it could bleed

for something that is real, my desperate appeal.

God I am getting tired of the way I feel when I would rather be alive.

I wanna wake up, I want a restart, put the drumbeat back in my heart.

I need to be revived....bring be back to life.

Coming on slow, head to toe, the pulse is back again

Grace in my veins replacing the pain bringing me back from the dead

Now I can see, you heard me cry emergency

Screaming out for help, you save me from myself

the fire’s returned, I’m letting it burn

There’s nothing better than in the whole wide world

It feels so good to be alive

I wanna wake up, I want a restart, put the drumbeat back in my heart.

I need to be revived....bring be back to life.

It feels so good to be alive

Bring me back to life....

I get the amazing opportunity to go and find that drumbeat.

I’ll be heading to Colorado for 10 days. I’m only with people for 3 of those days. The other 7 I get to hang with a dog, my macbook, and my bible.

I’m excited, scared, hopeful, and longing to spend some time with God. I hope He shows up.