Christmas "Letter" Blog Edition (#1)

Every year, I do a Christmas letter about the happenings in AmberWorld for all my family, friends, and youth/parents. This year just seems way too big for me to write it all in a one page summary.

I’ve just started a blog, so I thought, why not do a “Christmas letter” blog-style? It’ll save on postage and I can write as much as I want! And you only have to read as much as YOU want!

I have condensed my year into 5 themes:
Control
Freedom
Newness
Simplicity
God’s love

I will try to blog about each of these themes before Christmas. Feel free to read none or all. But please read this next paragraph:

I want to say thank you for being a part of my life. I cherish each one of you! The biggest blessing or theme this year has been community. Community weaves in throughout all of my themes. I have been so blessed with incredible friends. I truly believe that God has showed me a new aspect of his love through developing my community of friends…YOU! I learn so much from each of you, see Jesus through you, and laugh constantly about our hilarious adventures and inside jokes.

This has been the hardest year, but by far the best year of my life so far. I am a bit sad to call and end to 2008, as I imagine is just going to go downhill. It will be my last year in my 20’s and I’m wondering how to make the most of it.
I suppose 10 years ago I never imagined that I would be here, in this “place.”
This year has truly been about seeking congruence. Whether I seeking it or not, it surely did find me. I started 2008 with a plan. A very clear specific plan. I’m happy to report that God took MY plan and threw it out the window and created a better one.
This has been the year of themes, so I will entertain you with my top themes for 2008. I tried to start writing about all of the themes, and my blog got way too long. Mike suggested spreading out the blog into several days. And so I shall do that! Each day-ish, I will add a new theme about what 2008 has been like. I’m constantly reflecting on my life, and what a good way to finish the year. I think it’s a healthy thing to do, to look back and praise God for the good, and figure out ways to better love Him through it all.


Theme One: Control
Why do we make plans? I had blueprints of how I really wanted 2008 to go, and it all looked very good and neat. I was in control. Or so I thought.
Most people would say I have a control issue. I tend to chalk it up to a “very intense passion for making things work exactly as they should.”
Thankfully, God has been working on that issue, and it started right away in January.
Mission trip plans got ruined and I had lack of control on this for 6 months. It was the start of understanding the difference between responsibility and wanting control. Throughout the spring, “control” seemed to make it’s way into my journal over and over. I even tried to create a “new plan” based on control. I was controlling the plan to be less controlling! Or at least to recognize that God’s ultimately in control-which I know at the heart, but wasn’t willing to have an open hand to.
I moved out of my house in June. My friend and housemate Diana was about to get married. I didn’t have anywhere to go, which is NOT what I had ever intended, but had a peace about being ‘homeless’ until something came up. That was a control issue that I left up to God: the beginning of letting go.
I threw all my belongings into a storage unit and lived semi-homeless life for 40 days. It was freeing. (more on that in another theme).
Control continued to play a part in my year as we got closer to finishing the building project at church. I was on the building committee and was the decision maker on the development of the new youth center (more on that also in another theme). I had control over decisions which was difficult for me to make. Making decisions that included thousands of dollars and figuring out how to make a space that was inviting to youth and was honoring to God was RIDICULOUSLY hard. It was a lot of pressure, and there was a lot of letting go of control and asking God what He wanted that went on during that time.
We started a new service in the new youth center that is experiential. This grew out of a desire to see youth grow in their faith by using their gifts and talents in worship. I was excited about this addition to my job and has been another place where I’ve had to give over control to God. There is so much that goes into the planning that I have to constantly remember who is in charge. My only goal is to be sure that Jesus doesn’t leave the building. I want Him to be the center. And we are still figuring out how to do that.
As the year comes to a close, I believe that I have been able to give God the space he needs (he would have taken it anyway) to move in my life. I spent a lot of years with my hands closed tightly around my future, my everyday dealings, and now see that my hands are starting to open.

So, call me a recovering control freak. But I look forward to whatever God’s got in store for me in 2009.

Proverbs 19:21 "We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails."