Relationship Blog

So, I'm reading this book: "He's Just Not That into You."

It's a movie coming out soon and it looks interesting. So I decided to read the book.I've heard mixed reviews from friends, but you won’t hear that from me. It’s allowed me to breathe.  

The girl/guy relationship thing isn’t something I’ve had much experience with. I have lived vicariously through my friends who have had ups and downs in relationships, talked endlessly on the phone with friends about relationships gone wrong, and have gotten the “save the date” card, then the “wedding invitation” and then the “we’re having a baby” note over...and over...and over again. 

I’m not bitter. Let’s just put that out there. But there are moments when I wonder what’s up in my world that has left me writing cards to friends about new things going on in my job rather than in my non-existent relationship.

Here are some quotes from the book and a few personal thoughts. 

(quotes are in bold)

To the girls--learn to breathe, relax, stop overanalyzing, and be honest with guys.

And to the guys---continue to “man up” over, and over, and over again....and be honest with girls. 

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. 

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.

Duh. This is obvious. BUT....we girls like to think that perhaps he’s just shy, or intimidated, or too busy for us. This quote was a wake up call for me. It honestly has allowed me to stop wondering  and just “be.” Because, it’s true...if he’s not asking me out, he’s just not that into me. 

Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. If we want you we will find you. If you don't think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half.

Interesting. 

A guy will ask out a woman of higher status if he's into her. He might need a little more encouragement than normal. Once again, ladies, a wink and a smile will do it.

I don’t like to wink. And I’m pretty sure my smiles are funny looking. But the concept still remains, right?

Don't let him trick you into asking him out.

Ewwww. This is so NOT manning up.

If he likes you, he'll still remember you after the tsunami, flood, or Red Sox loss. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time. Know why? You are great.

Confidence is key. A “tsunami” for a guy could be lack of confidence. 

If the men are asking you out, if the men have to get your attention, then you, in fact, are the one in control. There's no scheming or plotting. And there is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And more importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot and beg to get someone to ask us out. We're fantastic.

Control. It’s not a bad thing. 

100% of men polled said they've never been too busy to call a woman they were really into.

He's just not that into you if he's not dating you.

Hanging out is not dating.

Dudes like just "hanging out" because they get to pretend they're not really responsible for your feelings. When you ask someone out on a real bona-fide date, you're making it official.

About just "hanging out" relationships: "Nice to know your not-boyfriend gets to live in your world commitment-free."

Girls- it’s ok to have guy friends. Just remember to keep them in the “friend” category. Have the “friend DTR” if you need to. Don’t give up anything physically, emotionally, spiritually that is meant for your hubby...and not your biff.

Men, just like women, want to feel emotionally protected when a relationship starts to become serious.

So, girlies, be aware of guys feelings.

Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you. 

Stop questioning and overanalyzing things your crush said or didn’t say, what they did or didn’t do....and stop wasting cell phone minutes talking to your friends deciphering code.

 

He’s just not that into you if he’s breaking up with you. Don’t confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with dignity. Being a doormat is offering to drive your ex to the dentist for his root canal. 

Stay classy. 

THE VOW:

Your vow for future romantic relationships: no more murky, no more gray, no more unidentified, and no more undeclared.

Relationships are tough. 

Let’s start a revolution in the way that we handle all future relationships. 

But, enough about that, I’ve gotta go.. I have to call a friend about that guy I met this past weekend and talk about why he didn’t ask me out....