Ministry, Guys, and Soy Milk

I went to a women's retreat this weekend through my church. I got to spend two days hanging with a few good friends. Instead of journaling my highlights and things I want to remember, I'll share them here. 

A few things I learned, realized, or was reminded of this weekend:

1. "I'm in the ministry." Our speaker this weekend talked about being "in the ministry" and how that is a label people have put on her. She used it for some funny jokes, none of which I can remember, but she said it really weird. I can't explain it. Sorry.... But, I'm in the ministry....I'm just starting my fourth year at Alleluia! and realized it's the longest I've ever been at one job. I spent a few moments this weekend sharing my frustrations with friends, but overall, I love my job, and I work with some of the best people ever (teens). I had the opportunity to connect with the ladies of our church, and many of them spoke very highly about our experiential service and my preaching. I don't take complements very well, especially about things that should be complements to God rather than about me. So, my response this weekend was "Yes, thank you, I hope God is pleased." or "Thank you, I'm glad you are connecting and being stretched in your faith." Or just saying "thank you" and walk away praying that God would be glorified and not myself esteem. This weekend, I experienced not just being a "youth director" but another spiritual leader/pastor for many of them and their families. It's a weird and grown up kind-of-feeling.

2. Sacred space/experiential worship is where it's at for me. Last year at the retreat I set up a prayer room with several different stations. It went over well, although, I saw many people walk through but not really take it in. So, this year, I went big, and put together a "sacred space" room. I received many complements, and I would ask the ladies, "did you get to experience it? They would tell me about their favorite station or where they connected with God, or which station brought them to tears. The hardest station for most was the "prepare a table before my enemies" station. I put a table with two chairs, one across from the other, with a table setting (plate, utensils). The station asked you to figure out who in your world is your enemy and why. And then you were asked to pray for them.  Hard stuff. 

3. I'm single and it's been 365 days since my heart was broken (just a little bit cracked really, perhaps a small chip at the top right corner actually) by a guy who had no clue. I am confident in most areas of my life, but when it comes to relationships I run hard and fast away in order to protect myself from rejection. But I know that every guy I meet will be compared to him. I have let go of the idea that perhaps I could have done something different or said something to change what wasn't there. And to be honest, 365 days has healed whatever dreams I had hoped for. My friend Heather will tell you that I still talk about him, but then I quickly snap out of it and back to whatever better God has called me to. She keeps me in reality. And perhaps I shouldn't listen to songs with lyrics like "I'm not sure that I'll get over you, I'm not sure that I want to." 

4. Secret garden of friendship? The topic this weekend was about friendship. I kept thinking about that "Jesus is my friend" video on Youtube. (the link is the DC*B version) I have some pretty great friends. I do. I'm so blessed. I need to tell them all how cool they are. We had a breakout time and we talked about times with friends. Share a time when you laughed with a friend, cried with a friend, was angry at a friend, etc...

As I thought about that, I can think of 3 best friends that I had, all in college. I don't speak to any of them anymore. One got married and had a baby, one best friend was a guy and we all know that doesn't work out well (he called me on my birthday, got on a flight to another country and never called me again), and the third got married and forgot all about everyone else in her world. I kinda was wondering if I fail at friendships. I mean, the closer we get to being friends, the more likely we will one day no longer talk (or so it seems in my experience). But I like all my friends right now. And I know I will lose touch with some, or not be in as close proximity of them later on in life, but right now, I gotta figure out how to maintain friendships. Cuz these ones are cool. I'm not sure what to do with this, but I kept thinking about my friendship failures and what I did wrong. 

5. Other things.

---I saw what looked like upside down umbrellas on the ceiling in the conference room. And I thought of jokes that Lost and Found would have said about them. 

---I beat Ondra and Lucy in an EPIC game of Ticket to Ride. It was RIDICULOUS.

---Real Estate is two words. Not one.

---Wal-atin. The generic version of Claritin. It's a lifesaver. Literally. Especially after an apparent allergic reaction at a small mexican restaurant. 

---Plans are in works for my Soy table at the "Milk Days" festival June 5-7. 

---Missing friends who were livin out 1989 by roller skating. I was with them in spirit.

Good weekend. 

The end.