AYhigh Girls Questions Part 2 (of 3)

Hey girlies! Here is part 2 of 3 in our Fishbowl Questions. Remember, these are questions you asked, and I'm answering them the best I can. Feel free to comment or ask follow up questions. If you missed part one, you can find it below.

What was your major in high school and what college did you go to?

Major in high school? I majored in dork. But in college, I majored in Youth Ministry/Adolescent Studies. Where? Judson College in Elgin, IL.

Why do guys have cooties???

This is the first question I plan on asking Jesus when I get to heaven. I’ve always wondered myself.

What are good traits in a guy? What standards should I set when looking for a boyfriend?

When a friend suggests a guy that I should date, and I say no, they always ask why not. Most of the time it’s because of their lack of a relationship with God or because I don’t feel they are very confident in themselves. I am someone who values my relationship with God and I really want that to be a strong trait in my mate. (that rhymed). I also want a guy who is confident in themselves (but not arrogant). I think your standards should be similar to the standards you have for yourself. In high school I made a list of the traits I wanted in a guy. Every guy had to measure up to my list. I never found the guy who made everything on my list. But... I had a revelation that perhaps I shouldn’t be focused on looking for a guy who fits my list, but being the type of girl who would fit someone else’s list. So, I have loyalty and spirituality on my list for a guy, I need to have that as a standard for myself. Instead of looking for a guy, I’m spending time working on my own spiritual life and creating loyalty, so that someday a guy will say “check” to his list.

How do I get a guy to notice me?

Be yourself. Love yourself. Be confident. That’s all you need.

What would you name a band if you were going to start one? (TUB doesn’t count)

Come See Our Show Tonight. CSOST for short. So when people say, ‘what’s your bands name’ you can say ‘Come See Our Show Tonight’ and then they get all frustrated and show up at venues all over thinking that your band is playing. No, that’s dumb. I don’t know. Wow. That’s a tough question. I’d probably start on one of those band generator websites.

I asked one of my guy friends to turnabout. I like him more now than I did when I asked him 2 months ago. I think he likes me back but I’m not sure. Should I wait for him longer? What should I do?

Hmm. Well, if he didn’t get the point that you liked him 2 months ago, he either has no clue about chicks and flirting, or he’s just not that into you. Wait, wasn’t that a movie? Yes, it was. A good one. Plus, as I always say, if he likes you, you’ll know. He’ll make it obvious, or he’s just too immature or shy to do anything about it.

Who was your first relationship? Describe him?

I liked a boy in 6th grade who lived around the corner from me. He was short, kinda dorky, and funny. We were friends and would ride our bikes around the neighborhood or go swimming in my pool. There was this one time when he farted in class and was totally embarrassed. Ahhh.. funny. Good times. I guess it was a “friend relationship” but that was the first boy I remember that liked me back.

What do you do if your guy friend is giving you mixed signals?

Mixed signals means mixed feelings. There may be times he is totally into you, and then other times when he’s not. So, find a guy who has distinctive signals one way or the other so you can worry about other things.

You know..I like this guy.. how do I let him know I like him without creepin’ him out?

I’m not sure what to do but I know what NOT to do. Here’s a few ways to creep out a guy: flirt with all of his friends, stand outside of his house and text him “i can see you,” stare at him at ALL TIMES, and most importantly, write on his facebook wall, send him a message, and update your relationship status with his name and “it’s complicated”... even if you have never met him.

Is it ok not to date in high school?

YES. It’s totally ok. It’s more than ok, in fact, it will probably help you stay focused on school, friends, and extracurriculars. Boys can equal drama. But, if you are going to date, be sure it’s with someone who is a friend, who can help you through life, and someone who will make you laugh!

If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Friends. I have all 10 seasons on DVD. Those episodes are like chocolate, minus the calories.

Stay tuned for part 3!

AYhigh Girls Questions Part 1

This past Sunday, all of our AYhigh girls had a “Fishbowl Conversations” night. The girls were allowed to ask any question ranging from silly to serious for our leaders. We didn’t get to all the questions, so I said I would post them on my blog this week. So, there are loads of questions, here are the first few...

Feel free to ask follow up questions or comment!

How do you cope with a break up? (which happened over text!)

Wow. Boys are dumb and clearly immature if they want to break up with you over a text. You are worth more than a text conversation! Anyway, how do you cope with a break up? Eat lots of chocolate and shop. Get a friend and go to coffee and talk it out. Laugh and wear your sweatpants. And then after a few hours of self pity, get up, put your jeans on and do your hair and move on. You are worth more than the time wasted crying over a boy. But it still hurts, so take a few minutes to cry it out... each chocolate, then move on.

How do I know how to dress appropriately?

What are you dressing for? I wouldn’t wear a dress to a soccer game, but I also wouldn’t wear cleats to church.. um..so anyway. Seriously, this is a great question. Obviously, wearing the correct size pants always helps. No one cares about the number so wear what fits. One of my biggest pet peeves is when bra straps show or when girls wear a bunch of spaghetti strap shirts. Ugh. Trashy, y’all. And let me just take a moment to say that it’s super trashy to put your cell phone in your bra when you don’t have a pocket. Get a purse.

What is one of the craziest experiences you’ve ever had?

I went to Germany when I was in high school as an exchange student. I went with a friend of mine to see the German National soccer team in Frankfurt. We took the train back only to get on the wrong train and go the opposite way of home. Whoops. That was an experience. I was young and didn’t really know German. It was a miracle I made it back to my host home.

Who is the last person you creeped out?

I totally creeped out a guy recently because I told him my age. He didn’t believe me that I was 31. Kinda creeped him out. He stopped talking to me after that. Is this what you mean by creeped out? I’m not sure.

What is your secret obsession?

Number 33. Tim Riggins. I love Friday Night Lights, but specifically Tim Riggins. I also have a secret obsession with knowing what kind of shoes lead singers wear. I always look at their shoes on stage. I’ve never told anyone that. I guess that’s a secret.

How far is too far with a guy? (asked 3 times!)

The front door. (That’s what Justin Lookadoo says). Anyway, this question was on 3 different cards, so clearly it’s one that we all want a clear cut answer to. The best answer I ever heard was from Lookadoo. He says, think of it like going out with your boyfriend on a date and then coming home and showing pictures and telling details of your date to your grandma. He says that at whatever point you get weird about telling your grandma what you did, that’s the line. So, if you’re cool with telling grandma you all made out in the back of the Jewel parking lot but not telling her exactly what you did, then you know your line. You know how far is too far. I also think of it in honor of my future husband. I know that some day I’m going to have to tell him what I did with every guy I dated. I want to honor him and save myself for my husband and also not be embarrassed about my past. Some may say, then don’t tell him.. but I’m all for honesty in relationships. Let me give you some bonus insight. If you are super cuddly or kissy in front of me, or your parents, or have pictures on facebook of you and your bf that is close then it tells me 2 things. 1. If you are comfortable being that close in front of people, then you are doing more behind the scenes and 2. you don’t have respect for yourself or for the others around you if your PDA is awkward and embarrassing to others. So. keep the PDA on the DL. So far on the DL that it’s mostly non-existent. You are more than giving yourself away to someone who may or may not be there in a month from now or three years from now. Lastly, know your line before you get into a situation where you don’t know what to do.

If you could dye your hair any crazy color what would it be?

Pink! Oh wait, I’ve done this. But I wish I could do it again.

How do you know you can really trust your good friends?

I think you can trust your friends if they’ve been proven trustworthy in the past. Obviously, secrets are like burdens that you are asking other people to carry, so be careful about what you share, even to your close friends. They may not be able to carry that burden and might slip and share your secret. But, I think God calls us to be good friends to others, so it starts there. Try really hard to be a great friend who is trustworthy, and you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who are the same to you!

What do you do if your ex is your neighbor and rubs his new girlfriend in your face?

Move. Just kidding. That most likely can’t happen. There are 2 possible things happening here. One it’s entirely possible that he’s not really rubbing his new girlfriend in your face, it’s just that maybe you aren’t completely over him and that it’s just really hurtful that he’s moved on. Ouch. Yuck. I hate when that happens. I hate when people move on and I’m still hurt. So, really know what it is. The other possible thing is that if he’s rubbing it in your face, why do you care? You can and should choose to move on and find new friends. I know it still hurts, but really ask yourself, why does it hurt? If it’s just annoying, go and ding-dong-ditch him. Just kidding.. don’t do that. Pray for him instead.

Is it worth it to try to have a relationship with a best friend? Or is it better just to stay friends?

Oh boy. Let me tell you about a time that this backfired. I told my best guy friend that I loved him. His response? “I love you I’m just not attracted to you.” Ouch. I learned the hard way that if a guy who is your so called best friend was really into you, then he’d ask you out. Honestly. If he was mature about it, he’d want for you all to be more than best friends. But... this is also a good time to talk about emotional boyfriends. Even though he’s not your boyfriend, he could still fill the role of an emotional boyfriend. Not only do you have to guard yourself physically, you also have to be careful to guard your heart too. Being too emotionally attached to a guy who you aren’t dating is dangerous. So, be careful to guard your heart and just stay friends, until he decides to ask you out. You could ask him, but then if he says no, it just gets awkward. But, if you are willing to risk the awkwardness, then ask him out!

That's all I have for now. I'll post more of your questions later!