AYhigh Girls Questions Part 3 (Final Part)

Hey girlies! Here is the last of the questions from our girls night at AYhigh. This was so fun! Feel free to send any questions you want. I'd be happy to answer them. If you missed the other posts, see below for links. Thanks again for your questions! Love you all!

Why are no guys asking me out?

Probably because they are stupid. But, seriously, I have 3 possible reason.

1. Confidence. Guys are sometimes scared to ask out girls because we are confident and have goals. Guys might say that you are “out of their league” because their own self confidence is low. Ew, unattractive. Guys need to be confident too. So, a guy might not be asking you out because he’s not sure what to do with the fact that you like yourself, are confident in who you are, and have goals. Any guy who isn’t willing to see confidence as an attraction isn’t worthy of your time anyway! Now, don’t be too confident and mean-girlish or have a too good for you attitude, but be yourself and be confident! Someday, a guy, a real guy, will think that is attractive. And he will ask you out.

2. Low Self confidence. Ok, so on the other end of the spectrum is to have low self confidence or low self esteem. The needy, low self esteem girl is unattractive to a guy worthy of dating. If you have low self esteem maybe it’s not a good idea to be dating anyway. Work on valuing yourself and finding who you are in God, the worth you are to Him first.

3. The third reason why a guy isn’t asking you out: They are stupid. End of story.

What standards should I set when looking for a boyfriend?

See traits question in part 2 for the answer to this.

What s your favorite animal out of platypus, mongoose, ostrich, white-tailed deer and sloth?

Sloth. They have so much patience. Wow.

What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory?

Oh wow. There was this one time I went to the bathroom in a public pool. It wasn’t number one.

How do I handle a serious relationship in high school?

Well, let’s define serious. I mean, how serious can a relationship get in high school? I suppose it’s all relative. Everything in high school seems like it can’t be better than what you have. But my word is “perspective.” Having perspective in a relationship is important. I would define a serious high school relationship as something that is 1. long term (longer than 6 months) 2. You talk about everything together, not just make out all the time, 3 you are more than dating, you are friends. As always, know your boundaries. Talk about it with him. Boundaries in how far you go physically, how much time you spend with one another verses with your friends or family, and someone you can talk to about things that are important to you (faith). If you aren’t willing to talk about these things, it’s not serious.

Tell us the craziest party you ever went to.

I went to a New Year’s Eve party in downtown Columbus one year. That was pretty crazy. Sorry, I’m kind of boring!

How do you resist fighting with your siblings?

Well, I think it’s somewhat inevitable but there are a few things you can do. First, don’t instigate or push their buttons. You can resist fighting by not starting the fight. If they start the fight, just ignore them or walk away. If they continue to persist, go in for a hug. Just start hugging and kissing them. They’ll most likely run away, leaving you without a fight... and a laugh. Scripture tells us to honor or father and mother. One way to honor them is to be a good example to your siblings and try to get along with them. If you have younger siblings, see yourself as being an example to them. I don’t know any younger siblings who don’t look up to their older siblings. Be a good example to them and love them. Even when they read your diary!

What should I do if a friend who is a guy tells you they love you and you don’t feel the same way and now you still want to be friends but it feels awkward?

Say it with me “AWKWARDDD!!” Well, if you still want to be friends, go up to him and just say, “let’s move past the awkward, yeah?” And maybe he’ll say yes, and you’ll laugh about it and move on. That’s pretty flattering, and maybe someday he’ll win you over, but try to talk to him about it. If he’s a real friend, he’ll listen.

What is your greatest regret in a relationship?

Ever dating a guy who didn’t love Jesus. All problems stemmed from that. It’s a non-negotiable for me.

What should you do if you don’t really like one of your pretty close friends and you don’t want to be that good of friends anymore?

Well, why do you not want to be friends with them anymore? I’m guessing they either hurt you in some way or they are doing things you don’t approve of. If they have hurt you, I would talk to them about that specifically. If they are doing things you don’t approve of, then start choosing to hang out with other friends instead of them. People do fall away from each other, but really investigate why you don’t want to be friends. If you can fix the problem by communicating with your friend, then do it. It’s worth it to fight for friendship.

Amber- will you sing me a song?

I’m singing right now. Can you hear it?

What’s the airspeed velocity of an African Swallow? Kidding! What’s the worst show on TV?

Worst show on TV hands down. Jersey Shore. Second worst: Real World. Third worst: Teen Mom. Basically, anything that exposes sex, alcohol, or goes against Philippians 4:8. (look it up).

What house would you want to be in if you were to go to Hogwarts and why?

Gryffindor. I would have been BFF’s with Fred and George.

What is your biggest secret?

If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a secret. But, here are a few things I perhaps don’t share openly. I secretly want to be in the CIA and do missions like Sydney on Alias. I secretly pick one or two people in the crowd to focus my attention on during my messages at AYhigh or in the X Service. I secretly make up stories about people sitting around me at Starbucks.

I don't like that my friend always flirts with the guy that I used to like and may still have feelings for, what do I do? I don't want to call her out, yet it really has been bugging me.

If you aren’t dating him, everyone has rights to flirt. So, don’t get mad at your friend, maybe she likes him too. If that’s the case, get to flirting and let him decide! JK... talk to her about it. Tell her that you still have feelings for the boy and if she’s a good friend she’ll stop. Communication is key! Always...

What is the best way to start a chat with someone on Facebook? A simple "hey" sounds boring.

I was just thinking about Facebook chat the other day. Facebook chat is the equivalent to me and my friends going down to the YMCA and sitting outside waiting for the hotties to walk by and play bball when I was in high school. We would always just stare or giggle. It never worked. The boys never stopped to chat. So, don’t just stare at the green dot by his name... here are a few starters...

“Hey boy”

“What up kid?”

“Hi friend”

“Hello”

“Dear ________, let’s chat.”

AYhigh Girls Questions Part 1

This past Sunday, all of our AYhigh girls had a “Fishbowl Conversations” night. The girls were allowed to ask any question ranging from silly to serious for our leaders. We didn’t get to all the questions, so I said I would post them on my blog this week. So, there are loads of questions, here are the first few...

Feel free to ask follow up questions or comment!

How do you cope with a break up? (which happened over text!)

Wow. Boys are dumb and clearly immature if they want to break up with you over a text. You are worth more than a text conversation! Anyway, how do you cope with a break up? Eat lots of chocolate and shop. Get a friend and go to coffee and talk it out. Laugh and wear your sweatpants. And then after a few hours of self pity, get up, put your jeans on and do your hair and move on. You are worth more than the time wasted crying over a boy. But it still hurts, so take a few minutes to cry it out... each chocolate, then move on.

How do I know how to dress appropriately?

What are you dressing for? I wouldn’t wear a dress to a soccer game, but I also wouldn’t wear cleats to church.. um..so anyway. Seriously, this is a great question. Obviously, wearing the correct size pants always helps. No one cares about the number so wear what fits. One of my biggest pet peeves is when bra straps show or when girls wear a bunch of spaghetti strap shirts. Ugh. Trashy, y’all. And let me just take a moment to say that it’s super trashy to put your cell phone in your bra when you don’t have a pocket. Get a purse.

What is one of the craziest experiences you’ve ever had?

I went to Germany when I was in high school as an exchange student. I went with a friend of mine to see the German National soccer team in Frankfurt. We took the train back only to get on the wrong train and go the opposite way of home. Whoops. That was an experience. I was young and didn’t really know German. It was a miracle I made it back to my host home.

Who is the last person you creeped out?

I totally creeped out a guy recently because I told him my age. He didn’t believe me that I was 31. Kinda creeped him out. He stopped talking to me after that. Is this what you mean by creeped out? I’m not sure.

What is your secret obsession?

Number 33. Tim Riggins. I love Friday Night Lights, but specifically Tim Riggins. I also have a secret obsession with knowing what kind of shoes lead singers wear. I always look at their shoes on stage. I’ve never told anyone that. I guess that’s a secret.

How far is too far with a guy? (asked 3 times!)

The front door. (That’s what Justin Lookadoo says). Anyway, this question was on 3 different cards, so clearly it’s one that we all want a clear cut answer to. The best answer I ever heard was from Lookadoo. He says, think of it like going out with your boyfriend on a date and then coming home and showing pictures and telling details of your date to your grandma. He says that at whatever point you get weird about telling your grandma what you did, that’s the line. So, if you’re cool with telling grandma you all made out in the back of the Jewel parking lot but not telling her exactly what you did, then you know your line. You know how far is too far. I also think of it in honor of my future husband. I know that some day I’m going to have to tell him what I did with every guy I dated. I want to honor him and save myself for my husband and also not be embarrassed about my past. Some may say, then don’t tell him.. but I’m all for honesty in relationships. Let me give you some bonus insight. If you are super cuddly or kissy in front of me, or your parents, or have pictures on facebook of you and your bf that is close then it tells me 2 things. 1. If you are comfortable being that close in front of people, then you are doing more behind the scenes and 2. you don’t have respect for yourself or for the others around you if your PDA is awkward and embarrassing to others. So. keep the PDA on the DL. So far on the DL that it’s mostly non-existent. You are more than giving yourself away to someone who may or may not be there in a month from now or three years from now. Lastly, know your line before you get into a situation where you don’t know what to do.

If you could dye your hair any crazy color what would it be?

Pink! Oh wait, I’ve done this. But I wish I could do it again.

How do you know you can really trust your good friends?

I think you can trust your friends if they’ve been proven trustworthy in the past. Obviously, secrets are like burdens that you are asking other people to carry, so be careful about what you share, even to your close friends. They may not be able to carry that burden and might slip and share your secret. But, I think God calls us to be good friends to others, so it starts there. Try really hard to be a great friend who is trustworthy, and you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who are the same to you!

What do you do if your ex is your neighbor and rubs his new girlfriend in your face?

Move. Just kidding. That most likely can’t happen. There are 2 possible things happening here. One it’s entirely possible that he’s not really rubbing his new girlfriend in your face, it’s just that maybe you aren’t completely over him and that it’s just really hurtful that he’s moved on. Ouch. Yuck. I hate when that happens. I hate when people move on and I’m still hurt. So, really know what it is. The other possible thing is that if he’s rubbing it in your face, why do you care? You can and should choose to move on and find new friends. I know it still hurts, but really ask yourself, why does it hurt? If it’s just annoying, go and ding-dong-ditch him. Just kidding.. don’t do that. Pray for him instead.

Is it worth it to try to have a relationship with a best friend? Or is it better just to stay friends?

Oh boy. Let me tell you about a time that this backfired. I told my best guy friend that I loved him. His response? “I love you I’m just not attracted to you.” Ouch. I learned the hard way that if a guy who is your so called best friend was really into you, then he’d ask you out. Honestly. If he was mature about it, he’d want for you all to be more than best friends. But... this is also a good time to talk about emotional boyfriends. Even though he’s not your boyfriend, he could still fill the role of an emotional boyfriend. Not only do you have to guard yourself physically, you also have to be careful to guard your heart too. Being too emotionally attached to a guy who you aren’t dating is dangerous. So, be careful to guard your heart and just stay friends, until he decides to ask you out. You could ask him, but then if he says no, it just gets awkward. But, if you are willing to risk the awkwardness, then ask him out!

That's all I have for now. I'll post more of your questions later!

Mr. Blackberry

I've been working out with a trainer at Xsport. 

So the other day, I went up to the personal training station to confirm my appointment. As I walked up, I immediately noticed the guy sitting at the table. There he was with a super tight Xsport "trainer" shirt and typing at a ridiculous speed on his blackberry. I'm not sure his real name, but we'll call him 'Mr. Blackberry' from now on.  

"Hi" I say kind of shy-like and insecure-ish. 

He doesn't look up, but says, "Yeah."

"Um, I just wanted to confirm my appointment with Dana for Friday."

Mr. Blackberry looks up from his surgically attached device and says in the most high-school- girl-attitude, "Um, you're going to need to call her." And his head goes back down.

"But could you just look it up on the computer?" I say with customer service expectation.

A few seconds go by and then he answers me with his head still down and while typing, "If a manager was here, but she's not, so no." 

And so I stood there. Like an idiot. Because apparently I've gotten in his way. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to apologize for interrupting him and making Mr. Blackberry do his job or yell at him for being a typical guy......So I walk away. 

A few days later I was sitting at the spa in my gym. I was getting a free manicure. The technicians were chatting with one another and one of the girls says to the other, "You're never going to believe what happened!"  She went into women's bathroom at the spa and walked in on a man sitting on the toilet typing on his blackberry. She said that she ran out and told a few of the women. Mr. Blackberry came out of the bathroom soon after and looked totally embarrassed. 

I laughed. And felt redeemed.