Wanting to go back...

To have a bad week after having a really good week is inevitable. It’s just going to happen. Every single time. It’s like when you are eating a really good meal and keep on eating, even though you know you will have heartburn later. And you do have heartburn and say “woe is me” and forget how great it was in the moment when you were eating that wonderful meal. The bad week takes over and you forget the moments that were really good in that other week. It gets overtaken by the “woe is me” of this week. The grace and the laughter of last week, now lives deep in your soul only to be taken over by grief and sadness, and the loss of whatever that was. And then you stay there. In that despair, because you can never get that week back. And you try with all your might to bring it back, to recreate it, and it can’t never happen.

So you recall memories and look at the pictures. You tell others about that week and then hope that they can get a small glimpse of what you experienced. But it’s never really quite the same when you talk about that one time. It takes you back, but then quickly fades. You sleep it off and hope to remember what it was, and the energy that it brought you. It’s in that good week that reminds you of who you are, reminds you that you’re a part of the bigger picture, that time can stop, and it did, on that week.

The ‘next week syndrome’ can trail on for several weeks and can keep you in a rearview mirror-like state. Instead of looking ahead, you continue to look back. And it’s when you look back that you miss what’s coming up. You want to keep looking back because you want to honor what it was, you want to bring it back from the dead, you want to memorialize it. You feel like you are offending it because you move on.

But it’s ok. Bring up the memories every once and awhile, but move on. It’s ok.

Hope says that a better week is coming. We just have to keep our eyes open and look ahead.