A Half Full Heart

I did something yesterday. I listened to KLove radio.

I’m not a fan of their “always so happy” attitude-it’s a bit much for me. So, I typically listen to cds or Shine.fm or WBGL. Anyway... none of this is relevant, except for the fact that something was said on KLove that I appreciate (and that I was so super tired from camp that my radio was tuned to it).

Matthew West (singer/songwriter) was being interviewed on the radio about his meeting with the Rev. Billy Graham. They had a great conversation, and Matthew thanked him for showing him Jesus at the age of 12.

The deejays joked about how Matthew was sure to write an amazing song after meeting with the great Rev. Graham. Matthew replied “You know, typically I turn to writing when my heart is full or my heart is empty... and yes, my heart was full after meeting him today.”

This resonated with me. I asked myself the question- Is my heart full or empty when I write? Is my heart full or empty when it comes to things that move me to action? Is my heart full or empty when I go to prayer?

I think we typically turn to God when our heart is full or our heart is empty. It’s this idea that we are so thankful that it leads us to prayer or we are so in need that we turn to prayer in plea. But do we turn to God when our hearts are just half full?

What happens when we have a half full heart? What if we’re neither full or empty in our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness? Our faithfulness and self-control is a direct response to how we deal with these other “fruits” in our lives... but does it matter if our heart is full, empty, or just simply.. in the middle?

This is where my brain was yesterday. I don’t have any answers to this one, at least not yet. But I have plenty of questions.

What do you think? How are you led to move, to action, to prayer? A full heart, empty heart, or in the middle? Of course, it ebbs and flows and that’s the beauty of life.. of knowing great joy and knowing great sorrow, so that we help others in those times. But how do we move to action? Is it mostly by a full heart or an empty heart?

Scripture tells us to guard our heart, for it’s the wellspring of life. What does this look like? How do we do it? I am not sure.

But what I do know for sure is that this week I’m about to experience a full heart. I know it. I know that God uses the ordinary people in extraordinary ways. I’m hoping that this week it’s not about me, but His spirit within me. I’m speaking at Lake Geneva Youth Camp for our jr. high girls week! Pray for me to speak the words that God would want the girls to hear, the promises of his love, and the privilege and responsibility we have as daughters of the King.

Some girls may come with full hearts... some with empty hearts. Some half full. Pray that God may soften their hearts and fill it... letting it overflow into the lives of those around them.

“Clear eyes. Full heart. Can’t lose.” -Friday Night Lights.

100 Days of Summer

It’s a little over 100 days between June 1st and September 11th (our official AYhigh start in the fall). While we still have some summer programing, trips, and planning, it’s summer! I typically find a goal for myself during these 100 days. So, as I was trying to figure out what this summer would look like, I took a look back for inspiration.

Many people thought I was in North Korea, or Colorado, or at an In-N-Out in Utah this past weekend. In fact, I holed myself up in a lodge with no internet, phone, or outside contact except for a few friends who came with me. We read books, wrote, played games, and ate way too much food. And while I spent time looking at this past year and where life would take me this summer and fall, I kept coming back to Galatians 5. It’s been difficult to live out the fruit of the spirit, to figure out what it means to live God’s way. In the midst of changes at work, change in my living situation, family stuff, and life stuff--it’s been tough to “put on the Spirit” through it all. So, there have been times when I’ve been angry, sad, disheartened, frustrated, fearful. There’s also been times of love, blessing, happiness, and great memories. But the dark cloud has certainly been around. I haven’t spent much time focusing on honoring God with my attitude, on honoring him by trying to live in the spirit.

I thought it’d be a great reminder and “restart” to figure out how to live through the fruit of the spirit this summer. To try to figure out how to live with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. And I don’t really think they are things we can just put on or take off like a jacket. They are things that have to permeate our being, a focus of our every moment, a lifestyle of honoring God. It’s not just about how to make ourselves better, but to really honor God through living in the spirit.

So, 100 days of focusing on these 9 traits. Scripture is very clear that if we aren’t living in the spirit, that we are living in the flesh. Yikes. I don’t want to live by my own earthly, flesh ways. I want to live His way. And not to say that I haven’t been living a life for God this past year, because I have..I’ve been learning, growing, praying, but these 9 traits have been pushed aside a bit. I think there are times when I’m loving or times when I’ve been patience, and my faithfulness has been true, but I know I can be doing better. I think we can all agree that we can be growing, learning, doing more.

We did a similar challenge a few years ago with our students- doing the Fruit of the Spirit for the summer. We encouraged students to pick one fruit a day and really focus on reading scripture, journaling, and focusing actions on that trait. So, I’m going to try to do this again. I am not making it an official challenge for our students, but if they are reading this, feel free to jump in and join me! I would love the accountability and to be able to offer help and suggestions too. Let me know if you are in.

Here’s the passage that I’m focusing on. I am sure I’ll blog about it this summer.

Galatians 5:16-23

“My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others (love), exuberance about life (joy), serenity (peace). We develop a willingness to stick with things (patience), a sense of compassion in the heart (kindness), and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people (goodness). We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments (faithfulness), not needing to force our way in life (gentleness), able to marshal and direct our energies wisely (self control).”

Fruit of the Spirit:

LOVE- affection for others

JOY- exuberance about life

PEACE- serenity

PATIENCE- a willingness to stick with things

KINDNESS- a sense of compassion in the heart

GOODNESS- a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people

FAITHFULNESS- involved in loyal commitments

GENTLENESS- no needing to force our way in life

SELF-CONTROL- ability to marshal and direct your energies wisely.